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arrrrgh ye mateys!!! ’tis a review of Pirates we read!

Posted by thekittenpup on September 20, 2009


Pirates is an adult film by Adam & Eve and Digital Playground.  I honestly can’t say how excited I was when Eden Fantasys sent it to me to review.  Aside from simply needing a new adult film, I had watched the edited version from Blockbuster and quite enjoyed it.  Was one of those “gotta see it gotta see it” things for me LOL.  What??  Pirates are fucking sexy!!  Not to mention pirates are sexy when they’re fucking as well!!  😀

In Pirates we follow a pirate hunter Capt. Edward Reynolds (Evan Stone) as he tries to capture the villainous pirate Victor Stagnetti (Tommy Gunn) … both MUY YUMMY!!! 😀  Throughout the movie we get to watch as they bumble (there are some great comedy relief moments) and have sex (10 incredible scenes) throughout the sea and some yummy den of pirate-ish iniquities.

Seeing as this IS indeed a XXX film, it starts out with a great sex scene between Isabella (Carmen Luvana) and her husband Manuel Valenzuela (Kris Slater).  What I really like about this movie is that because of the actual plot in it (and yes, there really is a plot!!) the actors (and yes, I firmly believe that porn starts *are* actors (some more than others…) there is emotion to the sex.  Gives it that extra oomph that traditional porns don’t have.  pirates pic 1

Now of course, the acting is not quite what it would be in a traditional Hollywood film, but it’s still well worth watching in my opinion!!  One must also keep in mind that they do not have the budget of Hollywood films, thus the special affects are also not quite what one would expect.  (Think about a half to full step below the SciFi [SyFy >.<] Channel).

I was quite happy to see that Capt. Reynolds first mate was Jules played by the incredible Jessie Jane.  I have found my favorite two porn stars in the first mates.  Jessie Jane and also Stagnetti’s first mate Serena played by the most delish Janine 😀

pirates pic 2 copy

I have to say that I enjoyed the costumes.  They’re actually quite well done, and work very well for each character as well as the time period and subject matter.  Pirates people pirates! lol  I have to say that I LOVE how Evan Stone played Reynolds.  The mannerisms and speech pattern work so well for the character.  As well as how Steven St. Croix playing Marco.  Both actors really found their character and let him shine through the screen.

Also the sound track is quite enjoyable.  It’s not the standard bow-chicca-bow-bow you get in traditional porno’s.  It fits nicely with the pirate theme and works for each scene.   Also, it was composed specifically for this movie.

For the sex scenes I think they did very well.  We get a little bit of everything with F/F, M/F and F/F/M.  About the only thing we’re missing is M/M.  *pouts* Maybe they did one in Pirates 2… (makes mental note to get it). For the record, the very last sex scene is my favorite F/F and my fav M/F scene is the “fire scene”.  Teehee not telling more on that one! 😉  Also, they worked the sex into the plot quite nicely.  It’s nice to have a movie with some good sex in it, that’s more than just a bunch of wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am’s in a row.

Anyway, the movie is a good 2 hours long and during the whole 2 hours we have plot development as well as character development.  It’s entertaining to watch how Jules truly supports Reynolds (they are childhood friends) as they track down Stagnetti.  Starting at sea and finding a floating woman they go to Sword Scabbard Island to find information about where Stagnetti is.

We spend a good time on Sword Scabbard Island enjoying the …bountiful joys of Evan Stone and a couple wonderful ladies.

pirates pic 3

As well as a glimpse into the intricate relationship between Jules and Marco (Steven St. Croix).  First off holy SHIT can Jessie Jane give head!! Secondly, Steven St. Croix is a pretty damn good actor!!

pirates pic 4

Here’s a good example of not only the F/F and the character development.  (Not giving away more than that 😉 Yeh gotta watch it yourself teehee) Isabella and the “pirate dancer” (Jenaveve Jolie)

pirates pic 5

And just ‘cuz Evan Stone is fucking edible and this scene is quite hot…(I could watch this scene over and over..and the music is just perfect for it as well)

pirates pic 6 copy

So after we leave Sword Scabbard Island we chase Stagnetti down and find him in a cave.  Here we get swords, comic relief and evil skeletons 😀  We also get more character development here, which I think is great.  Now, in the interest of leaving some to the imagination, I shall share no more pics of the rest of the sex scenes! 😀  That means you have to go watch it yourself!! And, ‘cuz i totally rock the kazbah here’s a likee to purchase it click me .  *points to the left* if you look over there you can find my discount code (6CF) and get a %% off! 😀 (( And I have to say.  Each and every one of you *MUST* see the scene between Serena (Janine) and Stagnetti (Tommy Gunn…) … hot dayam!!))

…Alright.  Just ‘cuz i love you guys here’s some Janine and Tommy Gunn (Serena and Stagnetti)

pirates pic 7 copypirates pic 7a

So you have pirates having sex, M/F, F/F and M/F/F.  You have character development and THIS where they say such things as “Come on you filthy little whore cum on me!” and “Spit on me bitch!” (**NOT** exact quotes).  Do you REALLY wanna go without seeing it?  Yea.  I thought not.  (Well I certainly didn’t do well on that whole “not giving more scene shots” thing now did I? LOL)

pirates pic 8

Now I just wanna say that there’s at least ONE sex scene where I have not provided a screen shot, and it’s my favorite F/F scene in the whole movie.  Muahaha!!! 😉

Incredible sex.  Good dialogue.  Good costumes.  Great music.  Good character development.  Great characters period!  Watch it people watch it!!!

product picture
DVD by Digital Playground
Cast: Tommy Gunn, Austyn Moore, Jenaveve Jolie, Teagan Presley
Director: Joone

One Response to “arrrrgh ye mateys!!! ’tis a review of Pirates we read!”

  1. thepinkpoppet said

    I guess I am now gonna have to get this for my Sir (the Capn.–he’s a pirate don’t ya know.) Thanks for the review of it. I like porn that has some development and not just one cum shot after another.

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